Housework and Hissy Fit

As I mop up my son’s pee from the living room floor. I wonder, are my dreams beyond my means? 

I'm kind of a writer and I guess I'm something of illustrator. However, I have been giving the mantle of ‘Marketing Extraordinaire’ in the Book Whisperers.  

Am I a natural in sales? No.  

Am I doing well in this role? Of course not.  

Am I giving up? Hell No! 

Monday morning arrives and I'm prepared for the 10am meeting and looking presentable as I drop the kids off at school. Even the skinny Mum - parent with the ultra-shiny hair doesn’t annoy me today. We used to smile at each in passing until one day she overheard me give my unfavorable opinion on pedigree dogs and from that day on would only scowl my way. Her loss but for a year I was secretly broken by the snub.  

I quicken my pace back home by 9.10am, in the door is where the race begins... 

I wash up breakfast plates, hang out the washing, hoover up fallen Cheerios as I cram half a banana in my face. I hunt for the Carer's Allowance form that requires urgent attention. I have a folder for such paperwork but it’s mainly filled with the kid’s drawings and letters for scan appointments for 2013. I ignore a call from my dad because ‘I'm working’. 

“I'll call at lunch” I text but he ignores that and calls again after 5 minutes to ask if I'm coming on Sunday. 

“You couldn’t text me that?” is my answer but I get no reply as he just asks the same question. 

I cram the remainder of the banana into my mouth and I'm ready for Zoom! 

This is when I feel on top. For at least 15 minutes I am a single working mum of 3 working from home. Juggling life and dreaming of bossing the marketing job, finishing my debut novel and illustrating the catalogue of children’s books I start but never finish. Until... 

The school calls.  

People are understanding as I give my apologies. I have to collect my daughter. She’s feeling sick. She was perfectly fine and healthy that morning! She ate two bowls of cereal, picked up her rucksack and then cartwheeled out the door. I’m sure I even heard her sing “I love school and I'm not feeling sick today” as she left. 

I run at break neck speed because I'm paranoid I’m not being a good mother but I know she’s not ill so I pick up lunch and dinner from Scotmid en route.  

This is another area I've neglected in pursuit of a career – The Weekly Shop. I can never manage it anymore I tell myself. But that’s a lie. After covid ruined my business, some weeks I had to count to the penny what I was buying to be assured I had enough money in my account. I have a fear of spending more than £25 on one load of shopping because I don’t know what’s around the corner anymore. This is why I want to work my socks off. I never want to be in that place again.  

So, as I predicted, after a sniff of fresh air she was fine and almost cartwheeled back to the house before asking if we could play Barbie. 

“I can’t, baby” and then the dreaded line “I have to work”. 

I do have to work but I also want to work. I just hope I can fit it around homework and hissy fits!